It is time
I've been contemplating for days whether I would post this thought of mine, because it would mean I have to do it now. I've written it in black and white that this is what I want to do. You see, for days I've been thinking long and hard what's best for me and for others. But after too much and I mean TOO MUCH thought on this, it's what's best for me is the best thing to do. So here goes, no more looking back.I wish that they would just get out of my sight. It makes me sick to my stomach when I see them. That's why I keep on saying, lucky are the people that do not get to see them everyday. I wish I was one of those people too that don't get to see them everyday. I wish they would go away. Although that would leave a void in my heart, I think that them going away would be better for my health. Sana hindi naman sila mga bato to realize this... But in reality, that situation would never ever happen so it's better that I'll be the one that would move away.
There are just some things that you don't like to see or you don't like to happen at all. But whatever we do, it's inevitable. Why is it that I always get to see things that I don't need to see!!! It's painful and I don't know why!!! I mean c'mon diba?! It's not my life getting wasted!!! I care but I'm also a nobody! So what am I holding on to ba? "That things will be back to normal and go back to where it was before? I know that will never happen again... but I still hope and pray it will..." I think this is why.. this tiny idea in my mind is so big in my heart that it breaks me. I have to remove that thought in my mind and in my heart. I have to. My work and health is getting affected and THAT is not very good. So I really have to.
I read in a good friend's post that it's in the way you handle or how you take things that will get you results. I guess the question now is, HOW can I handle this? Because I really have no clue at all. Follow your heart... Follow your brain... I think none of that will work because the situation and people are things I can't handle and I don't want to handle. Only they can handle it. So I just pray that you realize the intentions first, you know that the person has no one and going to you is the only solution. I also pray that please be finally sure of what you're feeling and doing, don't give false hopes. You're just fooling yourself.
I wish I could not think about it, to not think of the wasted friendship, to no get affected anymore, to live my life and accept the loss. This already happened before, but another good friend said there was still something missing. I guess that was the key, there will be losses in life but you just have to accept that to live through another day. This is the key...
I wish... I hope... I pray... that it's the right one.
This is my last post on this. More posts on Badminton and other important stuff in my life =D. Yahoo!!!
posted by tabel @ 5/24/2005 11:14:00 AM
1 Comments:
ako ba to?!!? *joke* musta ka na ma'am?
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