Welcome To My Life

Can't sleep

I can't sleep. Lots of thoughts enter your mind while you're in your bed, tossing and turning. I really hate this scenario. I don't like to think about a lot of stuff in bed, it's f*ucking frustrating, it starts an anxiety attack and it's gonna be another one of those sleepless nights which I can't afford to have.

I read in a magazine that in order to sleep better, one way is to list whatever it is you're thinking about so as to get it out of your head and level out those thoughts. So to be able to sleep tonight, I thought I'll write about what I'm tossing and turning about here. Oh what the hell.. I'll write what I want to write.

I'm turning the big 3-0 this year. Whoopteedoo, yehey, whatever?! I know that in today's times, it's like being in your 20's only. Just like they say when you turn 40 it feels like your 30 and so on and so f*cking forth. Well, maybe it's just a state of mind. Your mind is in your 20's but your body is the real one that's turning 30. But true also as they say, that the mind is a very powerful tool. So just think that both your mind and body are turning 20 instead of 30. Magical!

The thing is.. life is great and fun when your single. You can do whatever you want, you only think of yourself, you spend money the way you want it, you don't think about tuition fees and what will you prepare for dinner. I just think of my personal bills, my parents' health, the places I want to visit this year, not think of the next love that comes your way and gifts to buy for this year's Christmas. However, it's also true that sometimes aside from your parents, you want someone to be there for you too, i.e. only for you.

I was editing my Friendster account awhile ago and I remembered my favorite movies, some of which are Love Affair and The Moulin Rouge. I love the part in the movie Love Affair (which was remade by Warren Beatty and Annette Bening) where they went to an island to visit Warren Beatty's character's Aunt. She had a house on top of a plateau that is in the middle of a grassy field where wild horses run free. That is my most favoritest place in the whole wide world! I would so love to visit that paradise one day if I can. In Moulin Rouge, the tagline is what is unforgettable. Who would ever forget: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

I was also watching a TV show wherein one of the characters asked her fellow girl friends a question, the question went: "If they only get to have one thing only, what would it be: Love, Sex or Kids?" I'll answer this with another question, Why do women now a days have to choose from these three options? In reality, why can't we have all of them?! For those who have all those things, lucky you!

Damn! I'm getting sentimental, I'll stop now. Enough of this. This is not helping me go to sleep. I'll just watch another crappy movie, maybe that'll put me to sleep.

posted by tabel @ 2/04/2008 01:32:00 AM